I like to hear another's point of view on an issue I care about. It is that kind of other-opinion against which I can test my position— push back, perhaps, or at least test the choices I am making, test what I want and do not want.

If I seek a man's point of view, my adult sons are often among the most honest, thoughtful people with whom I can test myself. They know me in ways no one else does, nor ever can. They are kind, and will engage with whatever issue is on my mind, whatever issue I bring forward to discuss. They are true to themselves, and, also, they love me.

And I love them, forever and ever. I think Mother love is the closest I've observed to unconditional love. In relationship with my sons, it seems important to me to notice the experience of how very complex the deepest kind of love actually is as it takes on the forms of flesh and blood in this world. Knowing my own depth and complexity of feeling for (and relationship with) my sons informs me about who my own mother was, as well.

I do not comprehend in any way the mind of a woman who claims she does not love her child. But I do comprehend the infinite variety, the perfect imperfection, of Mother love, and the helplessness and power that are not mutually exclusive in that relationship.